The Obsequious Pen

“I Know How To Waste My Time” by Ali Pica

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Photo by Dil Assi on Unsplash

Ever feel like the doors of opportunity are real-fake doors? Ali Pica wrote this poem out of ennui and listlessness of searching. 

I Know How To Waste My Time

I know how to waste my time.
I took too many selfies
That all looked the same
Minus the duck lips and cleavage.
I swiped left on my phone,
Edited, and re-edited
A bio no one read.
Vintage vinyls and art,
I struggled to figure out
If someone actually liked me
Or if it was an accident?

As Bob Ross said, there are only happy accidents.

Then, I thought I would be more productive
And use an app to apply for jobs,
Which I kept swiping left, editing,
And re-editing my profile
That no one read
Until I applied for a nursing job by mistake
And received a free resume analysis, which said,
“You have no accomplishments.”

Now I get messages from men
For potential random part-time jobs
Or meet-ups in coffee shops for potential hook-ups.

It’s all the same to me.

A few summers ago, an older gentleman
Rolled up in a BMW convertible
And chatted with me
While I waited for an oil change.
He gave me his business card, which read:
“Service with Happy Endings.”
The card was littered with hand prints
Like that of a child would press against the wall.

He offered me a job waxing boats while wearing my bikini
And promised I could live in his condo on the beach.

I politely declined and moved back home after two masters degrees.